To Be, Or Not To Be Beautiful

 (photo from http://goodnewspic.com/2010/08/23/miss-universe-2010.html)

As the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And if the beholder happens to be a guy you've had your eye on, surely you're gonna pull out all the stops to make him catch give you a second glance.

So you've gone to the gym, diligently stuck to your diet, waxed EVERYWHERE, gotten your hair, nails and makeup done...right?

Ladies, if you are not that high maintenance, then you have a problem.

Now, I am aware this is the OPPOSITE of what most you believe: it's beauty on the INSIDE that counts. Well, sorry girls, but I have some honest, bad news: men do care about what's on the inside, but they also care a lot about what's on the outside.

To quote Psychology Today's writer Amy Alkon, "being beautiful means being sexually appealing to men. And then instead of snarling that male sexuality is evil, we need to accept that it's just different..." (from her article "The Truth About Beauty")

According to psychologists, men are just more sexually "visual" than women. Men like to be "turned on" by what they see when they are having sex. So if a woman isn't physically attractive, their sex life will most likely have problems, if it even exists at all.

It seems unfair.But takeYourTango's contributing author Evan Marc Katz's advice: "Would the world be a better place if being 60 lbs overweight didn't matter? Sure... But that's not the world we live in. And the people who do best in the world we live in are not the ones who try to rewrite the rules of society but, rather, figure out how to navigate them successfully." (from his article "Why It's OK For Men To Judge Women On Their Looks")

Waiting for work

Summer vacations were fun back when I didn't have to worry about supporting myself. Now that I do, lazing around most of the week is driving me insane.

I don't understand why it's so hard for me to be motivated to engage in one of my hobbies (well besides running, as it's usually too hot to do that after 10 a.m. until 8 p.m.).

I should be keeping up with being involved in journalism. I should be reading my books, keeping up with new trends, etc. At least I still use Facebook and Twitter regularly.

Living on my own is great, don't get me wrong. Even though I live in a crowded room in a state where the only people I know are my roommates and my boyfriend, I have this new feeling of freedom that is one of the sweetest things I've ever tasted (besides Yoplait peach yogurt).

Now, it's only a matter of time. Hopefully, Sears will contact me very soon about orientation/training. Same goes for Babies R Us. In the mean time, I have to be patient, and try to make the most of each day where I have nothing scheduled (that means I need to lay off South Park reruns).

Am I hiding from the heat or just feeling lethargic?

Radio claims 80 degree weather today, so I'm guessing I'm lethargic :)

Shaun and I are doing pretty well by ourselves and with each other. We're working on overcoming feelings of dependency and claustrophobia.

These are two of the top causes of break ups. Someone feels either smothered or too heavily depended on, so they end the relationship rather than really talk about what's causing those feelings (this is the usual scenario).

Regardless of whether the couple lives together or not, this problem is bound to creep up at some point. So as an alternative to splitting up, talk over these feelings. It's a painful and tedious process, but it's also well worth it.

Pepper: my adopted (well, bought) chinchilla

Having been in Idaho for almost three weeks now, I still don't have much company while I spend the day watching TV and applying for jobs. So  asked my roommates and Shaun if I could get a chinchilla to counter the lonely, boring days.

A couple days ago I adopted Pepper from Petco. He's incredibly soft, cute and fast. We've gotten to the point where I can open the cage and pet him or pick him up and hold him without a fuss.

I'm very thankful John, Arielle and Shaun agreed Pepper could spend time at either location. I am not lonely any more and Pepper is very entertaining all hours of the day.

This here is Pepper. I still need to find out how old he is. He's a treat in my life. I feel happier now and much less bored. :)

Life in Boise

I'm still looking for work, so life is rather lonely. Shaun's at work all day, and I'm inside applying for job after job on the internet (and sometimes at a potential work place). Why won't anyone call me for an interview/hire me? I'm almost sure it's my not local phone number.

Other than the no job situation life is pretty good here. The weather is still hot but not humid, so it's tolerable. I've been keeping busy with regular cleaning, tasks I've been putting off for awhile (like getting my hair cut), and playing lots of Solitaire.

It's time I did journalism related stuff. I miss being connected with that part of my life. I have some plans, and I need to force myself to execute them.

Life in Boise update

It's been a little over a week since Shaun and I moved to Boise, ID. We've been struggling with work or lack thereof, illness, navigation and emotionally adapting. Things have improved now.

Shaun is finally starting to like his software job at Micron Technology. I'm still responding to job postings on Craigslist.

My roommates Arielle and John are both welcoming and pretty chill. Arielle has two fat cats, one of which has bonded with me. I'm in the stages of convincing Shaun he should get a cat at his place.

I have my own room and bathroom, and plenty of fridge space (not that it's ever filled with much). Shaun's townhouse is cozy. The neighbors are interesting. One was BBQing in a Tye-Dye T-shirt. A few of the little neighbors challenged Shaun and I to a game of tether ball. Of course they kicked our butts.

Recently I got the ERG valve on my car replaced. The mechanic promptly informed me of many other things that need to be fixed. I also pumped my own gas by myself for the first time this week. I'm still pretty proud of myself.

It's been hard on both Shaun and I not having a social life. We've made some tentative plans for dancing. Tonight Arielle's friend is coming over and the three of us are having a "girl's night." I'm not sure how I feel about this yet.

Story 5: Office Hours with Mike Houglum

At A Glance:

• Classes taught at LBCC: Speech 111, 112, 218, 219
   
• How long has he been at LBCC: 26 years
   
• Usually has: A 16-ounce cup of house coffee
   
• Speech topics heard most often: How to make a speech, and the classics like legalizing marijuana and lowering the drinking age to 18 aka the file folder speech in the frat house.

Quote: “Well you know how it is. The students are all with their energy drinks, or something like that, taking some sort of brain stimulants and if you’re not on the top of your game you really feel like you’re behind. I’m already fighting that.”

 (Mike Houglum at left in his office after the interview)

Unfortunately for staff and students, speech instructor Mike Houglum is soon approaching retirement. In fall 2012, Mike Houlgum will leave the speech department and students he has influenced.

While he doesn't advise any clubs or host any events, he is still loved by many of his students. It will be a loss to LBCC when he retires by fall 2012.

Mindi Jones (one of Houglum's students) changed her major to speech because of  Houlgum.

"He inspires me to work harder than any of my other teachers. He's interested, he's not boring, and he knows his stuff. He pays more attention to what I have to say than other teachers do. He always gives outside references so I can do outside research on my own."

Emma Barry hasn't converted to a speech major, but she is really into Houglum's classes and teaching style.

"I took interpersonal communication my first term here in fall 2009 because the class sounded interesting and I took it with Mike just on random chance. He turned out to be my favorite teacher. I'm taking all of his classes just because his enthusiasm makes anybody like the subject."

While Houglum doesn't bounce off the walls with excitement, he demonstrates his passion for the subject by providing students with a variety of useful and applicable information in his speech classes.

Houglum has been teaching communication classes at LBCC for 26 years. With his 16-ounce cup of coffee and the choir serenading in the adjacent classroom, Houglum put his communication skills to practice. Having graduated from California State University Northridge with a BA and master’s and earning a Ph.D. from UO, it’s safe to say Houglum knows his subject.

Commuter: You’ve mentioned in class that you were originally going to declare your major to be psychology. What made you change your mind?

Mike Houglum: A serendipitous series of events occurred and I was unable to declare that major. At the time I was told that they didn’t have enough resources to do advising for anymore psychology majors. A lady told me that I could declare a speech major and I said ‘sure.’ So she changed my entire destiny just by a suggestion. The dominoes really fell after that. I may not have gone for a Ph.D., I wouldn’t have met my wife (she was in speech at UO), everything changed.

C: What would you say your favorite speech class to teach is?

MH: I like two of them really well: persuasion and small group communication. I think those are both the most fun because in those classes students push to really explore things. They take it because they are interested in those topics and not because they are required to. I think it draws an audience of students that are really interested in the subject and so they push me to do better or try to stay ahead. And I learn a lot of things in those classes.

C: What do you learn?

MH: I learn new theories, I learn new ways of doing things, I learn about topics I would NEVER study on my own but that are really interesting and/or really significant to society. I get a chance to do what I originally set out to do, which is to learn things and try to find ways to teach other people about them.

C: Being a speech instructor, would you say it would be difficult to persuade you on anything?

MH: No, the overriding quality is being a teacher. Teachers are generally easy because they want to help students, just like agreeing to this interview, and even though I know a lot about persuasion it doesn’t always help protect me. It makes me suspicious but it doesn’t make me immune.

Where to find Mike Houglum
Office: SSH - 231B
Phone: 541-917-4281
E-mail: mike.houglum@linnbenton.edu
Office Hours: Monday/ Wednesday/ Friday 10-11 a.m.